The Women

For Kylie, Natalie, Sadie & all the little girls yet to come:


Little girl, know this: when the sky comes falling down, when your heart is in a million pieces and your sanity drained, when you’re body rips open in birth, it’s the women who hold your hand and bring you back to life.

Little girl heed this: the perfect mate does not exist. Know that now and save yourself the trouble of trying to breathe him into existence. Breathe, instead, life into yourself. The men will come and there will be many. Some will be great. Some will be boys. All of them will teach you something. They will all say they will be there for you. But it’s your women that will truly keep that promise. They will hear your heart weeping silently and answer your call at midnight. They won’t just take your strength: they’ll give it.

Little girl see this: my women are amazing. My women grow new life, making plans all along they know they will have to carry through themselves. They care for their girls like they are holding their own hearts in the palms of their hands: lovingly, absolutely, resolutely. My women beat cancer and ward off financial strife. My women wear football stripes under their eyes so their friend doesn’t have to wear bandages alone. They come to a strange apartment and eat spaghetti with wine so their friend can find peace over a giant pot of marinara. My women clean like mad. My women never let a week go by without telling each other how much they are loved. They come every Wednesday and share the gab of the week. My women make delicious quesadillas and eat pints of pistachio ice cream and make a bed with fresh cotton scented sheets for their friend’s rest. They spend the day curled up and crying just because it was needed of them. My women love often and well and they always tell the truth.

Little girl practice this: truth is at the heart of it all. You can be whoever you want to be as long as you are truthful. You will hear this over and over. You will ignore it because you want to meet everyone’s expectations. Because disappointment is easier than confrontation. Because you’re not sure you can. You will feel that your mistakes have cost you so much time. But you are always where you are for a reason. The world is still turning. Be truthful to yourself.

Little girl hear this: Steel Magnolias are not born – They’re made. That which does not kill us only makes us stronger and you will need every ounce of your spirit to find that strength. Life is one big test of will & optimism but you will not face it alone. Because we are your women. We will offer a hand when you fall and help you learn to stand back up. We will hold your hand in ours when you’re scared. We’ll rub your back when he said he would and didn’t, when he’s found someone new and the pain is too great. We’ll stand and cheer from the sidelines when you cross each new threshold. We will love you Little Girl, no strings attached, because you were born to us. We are yours from here until eternity; try to remember us as you grow.

Little girl, know this: when the sky is its brightest blue, when your heart is bursting in joy and happiness, when you’re body is healed and healthy, it’s the women who hold your hand and walk with you through life. We are your human footprints in the sand. We are never without each other and you are never without us. Walk with us Little Girl, we love you.