The Moment Just Before....

The moment just before – that’s the Holy Grail. A pocket of perfection; the only kind that exists. We learn, as we grow older, to temper our expectations. But human as we are, they sneak up on us anyway. In the moment just before, the world is simple. It’s the place where all the fairy tales exist. The minutes, the seconds, right before, when everything you dreamed is possible.


Take, for instance, the moment just before the party. The happy chatter heard from above before they know you’re there – listening. The reverberation of people’s joy in a moment you helped foster and all those expectations, those fairy tales, rise up inside you and make you smile at yourself in the mirror. This moment is pure joy, as of yet, untouched.

The moment right before is your heart’s truest. Reality is still what you hope, not yet what is. Uncomplicated. Like the seconds before the first kiss – too wet or too dry, makes no difference. It hasn’t happened yet and your kiss, still descending, can’t be anything short of miraculous.

Perhaps it’s the anticipation of the thing and not the thing itself that makes life so ephemeral. Like Christmas Day – a 35 day build up that’s over faster than you can say Kris Kringle. But it’s magic if you please. The gradual build up of cheer and love and joyous anticipation. The biggest moment just before of the year. When it’s over there’s always that twinge of sadness because the moment after breaks the fairy tale. The moment after makes you adult. The moment after is like a double edged sword – it might be just as magical or it might let you down. But in the moment just before it’s almost like living in a childhood Christmas tale. And the people you love, love you and they’re happy and fed and laughing. And the rooms fill with music, and the walls fill with scribbles and for a moment, just a moment – you’ve captured happiness in the palm of your hand.

I like to think there’s enough moments just before to carry us through another year, and another year - into a lifetime. We’ll make them, we’ll plan them and together, we’ll battle that all too familiar life call to “grow up” entirely. And it just so happens, I’m living a moment just before right now. With you. The moment just before I post this, I’ll be proud. Satisfied. Pleased. In my fairy tale this page is exactly everything I hoped. After, I’ll wonder if you read it. If you felt the same. If I made it too emotional or got carried away with my inner thesaurus. But for now, and theoretically, for always, this day, this party, this end of 2009 – is the moment just before the rest of our lives. It’s beautiful. The Holy Grail. Nothing short of miraculous. And it’s filled, by the grace of God, with all of you.